Preparing Your Heart for Gratitude

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I got new boots this year. Some of my very spiritual friends wanted to make sure a link was included with this post so THIS is where I got my new boots. They reminded my of a hard lesson I learned about gratitude. Sometimes I know that God just shakes His head and laughs out loud at me. I don’t mind. Learning how to live life well, is hard. There are so many ways to interpret other peoples teachings and messages. I am bound to have misunderstandings in teachings and trouble with heavenly communication. I am thankful for a lifelong curve of learning. Take the early lessons I had on faith. I gathered from various teaching, just declare what you need and God is bound to provide for you. God loves me and has a plan for me, but truth be told I have no idea what I need. Every curve and blind intersection has brought me the unexpected. If I had the choice I might have missed some of the very best moments in life. I learned a big lesson with my old winter boots.

I got those boots from my Mother. She didn’t particularly care for them, they were a little small, which made them a bit big for me. I took them home anyway, because I am a fairly practical person. We were also young parents and new restaurant owners at the time so spending was something we didn’t do much of. I wore them for about 5 years.

I grew to hate those boots. They weren’t even mine. They didn’t fit well. They weren’t even really winter boots. They were just plain brown leather with a chunky heel that didn’t keep you from slipping on the ice. The problem was, that I decided to hate my boots during the worst financial winter of our lives. We didn’t pay ourselves a salary for 4 months and took out a home loan to keep our business running and not have to cut labor.

By spring I was a little crazy and frustrated with lacking and stretching and, well, everything. In the madness of the winter/spring coat sorting, I had an epiphany. I had been talking to God about these boots, and my need for new ones in the very near future, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. I decided  (please don’t judge me, I was young and surrounded by a lot of little ones) that God wasn’t providing boots because I didn’t need them. I had boots. Boots I hated, but still, I had boots.

You probably already guessed, yes, I chucked those boots. Like into the volcano of sacrifice, but into the actual trash bin with the blown-out, buckle-less snow pants and single mittens. It felt good to be rid of them.

The problem came six months later. As it happens every year, winter came round again and it snowed. We did the coat scramble and boot distribution. With 7 or 8 kids by then, this is one of my more dreaded tasks. We lined up the kids and passed out winter gear line they were new recruits. Everyone was all set with enough fluff and yarn to clothe a village and there I was, bootless. I searched everywhere for those boots. I checked every corner of our closets. It took a few more snows before I remembered what I had done.

I had to laugh of my own audacity. I know God laughed with me. I provide Him with a great deal of humorous moments. The boots I hated in the spring were so much better that no boots in the dead of winter.

I wore Converse for the whole winter, not really as penance, but because I am cheap and they were the shoes I had. Over the winter I grew more and more thankful for those ugly brown boots. I used to think those boots were slick, but Converse might as well come with a guy that pushes you down when it snows.

Need, it is so subjective. In truth, I don’t really know what I need. I need to grow. I need to be kind and listen. I need to communicate my feelings. I need to laugh at myself more. I need to enjoy today, even in my circumstances. I need to work toward goals with vision and not lose heart.

Those years were lean and hard. We had a four years stretch where we made no purchases but for food and diapers. I might have not chosen that road if I was picking, but those years taught me so much.

I learned I need very little. I learned God has a great sense of humor. He loves to bring me just what I need, when I need it, and not a minute before. I learned to be quiet and ask Him to take care of me. I learned to trust and be content.

This year I got nice boots as a Christmas gift from my husband. He worked an extra job and got paid with money that for once in our lives, was not earmarked to pay a bill. I love my new boots and my warm toes. I love that they are actually cute and something I chose, but I will never forget those ugly brown boots. They taught me to be grateful for what I have. They also taught me not let frustration convince me to throw out what I should be thankful for.

Life is full of reasons for frustration. Are there things in life you’re wanting to give up on?  Do you need to make some changes or do you just need some encouragement?

Don’t give up on your goal if you know it is what you are called to do. Our lean years were hard but we paid off our house, our business and our debts. We recently rebuilt our house and are working on paying off our construction costs.

Looking back, it was totally worth the struggle. So if you need some cheering tell me about your crazy audacious goal and I will cheer for you.